Brizzle’s the best in the west!

Indulging in memories of a visit to Bristol with my partner brought a huge smile to my face. Even though it was a short stopover, it left an indelible impression on me. It was a Sunday evening towards the end of the summer, during our road trip around England, that we reached bustling ‘Brizzle’. We arrived later than planned, but we had time to get "ship-shape and Bristol fashion!"

In the weeks running up to our road trip  and visiting Bristol, I made contact with some of the leather and BLUF guys from LeatherWest and BLUF@Bristol. The responses were filled with enthusiasm. Straight away, BLUF SBerg started to round up the leather troops for the Bank Holiday weekend. Given the short stay in Bristol, to meet our fellow leather brothers, my partner and I wanted reasonably priced accommodation near The Den bar, where we had arranged to meet. The Den is a men-only fetish bar, which ideally offers budget accommodation over the bar - named ‘The Den Rooms’. It was ideal, with reasonable rates, satisfactory facilities that couldn't be any closer to The Den bar! The alleyway at the side of the bar, with its concrete walls, metal gates and industrial spiral steel staircase, brings you up to the roof terrace and access to The Den Rooms – and is a very masculine entrance space for any leatherman that knows just how this kind of background goes well with leather!

After the enjoyable pleasure that is buffing up one’s gear and adorning oneself with layers of leather, it was time to make our way down to The Den bar to catch up with our Brizzle brothers. With a couple of knocks on the door, we enter. The bar was starting to get busy, with a mixture of fetishists: skinheads, rubber guys, and of course, leathermen! Heading straight to the bar to order our first drink, my partner and I recognised a familiar accent. The bar man was from Northern Ireland – typical, us ‘Norn Irish’ are everywhere! As Norn Irish men do, we got chatting and had a bit of ‘craic’ (banter) as we call it.

From the online exchange before arriving in Bristol, it was easy to spot our BLUF brother, SBerg, who warmly welcomed us to the city – and the Den – and introduced us to his leather comrades. The drink was flowing and the ‘craic’ was good. We decided to grab a pew in the heated smoking area out the back. While sharing our stories from our recent road trip, and hearing from the Brizzle boys about how the leather community is going from strength to strength, I didn't notice the bar filling up with loads of guys, especially on a Sunday night – but after all, it was a Bank Holiday weekend. Happy days!

Everyone was very friendly and the atmosphere was relaxed, but beginning to fill with excitement as the bar packed out with leathermen, muscle bears, rubber guys and eager subs.  We were very lucky to be seated around a picnic bench with views into the bar area, and the opening of the darkroom! As the night progressed, things were getting hotter by the minute. Eye contact and body language was getting stronger, more intense, and fun and frolics was being sought. The views of hot guys indulging in passionate intimacy and kinky copulation from ‘the bench’ got my blood pumping. It reminded me of how leatherfolk embrace such socio-sexual spaces as a way of expressing their sexual freedom. Such bars are essential for us to express our sexual identity in a safe and friendly environment.

Our conversation, at the bench, gradually turned to the joys of nipple play and tit toys. It isn't only on a topic I enjoy talking about, if you know what I mean (*wink wink, nudge nudge*)! One of the Bristol brothers reflected on the joys of nipple suckers (caps) and how one can improvise without purchasing the expensive ones we all (probably) know about being sold in fetish stores. The ‘improvised ones’ can be found in all good hardware stores. (However, I still never remember to visit those stores to acquire this toy! And I call myself a fetishist leatherman – tut tut!) During our tête-à-tête, a fellow brizzle muscle (leather) bear ‘D’ produced his metal clover clamps. Well, my eyes opened, as did my leather shirt!

It was only appropriate to try the clover clamps, given the heated conversation. The intensity and pleasure generated from the clamps slowly pressing on my nipples was immense. The atmosphere was sexually charged. My fellow pleasure seeker, muscle bear ‘D’, removed one of the clamps and placed it on his nipple, allowing us to tug against each other. Eye contact was powerful around the bench. It was time to take this to the next level.

Our group made our way into the bar to the dark room. Dimly lit, my eyes gradually adjusted to the surroundings. The room was heated with the presence of men. The pleasure continued, all over my body, not just my nipples. Fantasies were coming reality. The sound of leather creaking and the sensation of other men’s leather rubbing against me was exhilarating. The Den was truly rocking, with the hum of moans and groans from pleasure seekers.  

Afterwards, we returned to ‘the bench’ to finish our drinks and natter some more. However, the night wasn't over. Round two would follow, via the concrete alleyway, and metal staircase, in our room, above The Den. It was a pure delight to share such leathersex with my brizzle brothers.

I have such fond memories from that night. As I said at the beginning, recalling these memories always brings a huge smile to the face. You guys, and you know who you are, will have to visit us Irish leather guys…so we can return the favour (and pleasure)!

My thoughts on Leatherman Protocols

After reading Weal’s (2010) The Leatherman’s Protocol Handbook, and the many reviews of it online, it has encouraged me think more about how leather was appropriated by the gay community, how the gay leather community per se is evolving and what role protocols have in our contemporary leather play and lifestyle.

While I am not going to provide a critical review of the book’s substance and its literary style/composition – as many other, more ‘well established’, leather brothers have done this already, as well as Weal responding to the widespread criticism see:
 NWleathersir2012's blog; John Weal's rebuttal on Leatherati; John Weal's response on Leatherati – what I will do is share my thoughts on how the book resonates with me as a young leatherman starting my journey into the world of leathersex, DBSM and role play.

It was interesting to discover Weal’s personal account, told via others, of how the gay leather scene developed after World War II. It does seem plausible that the “Old Guard” protocols, which provided the three “S’s” of leather life (Structure, Strictness, Stability) that Weal outlines, evolved from the many gay soldiers that returned from the war, especially given that they had to follow rigid rules and structures day in, day out. While many of us today probably haven't experienced such formality during our formative years, the three S’s point to a leather play framework that resonates with me – and which comes naturally to me during play sessions in leather whichever position/role I assume. Having a protocol framework like Weal writes about can help govern how both (or multiple) partners act and behaviour in a particular play session. Weal notes how, in his experience, these protocols extend beyond play sessions and are strictly adhered to in the wider relationship and interactions between a submissive and dominant. This works in some relationships, no doubt, as some guys like to adopt a submissive or more dominant lifestyle 24/7. However, I do wonder if this is widely applicable in contemporary relationships, given the decline of the “Old Guard” practice and the competing demands and complexities of modern life. For me, adopting the widespread application of such protocols into my relationship and around our daily routines and customs would be difficult. In fact, my preference is to savour the pleasure generated by applying such protocols and deploying certain behaviours for play sessions, which alters the ‘normal’ dynamics that exists in our relationship, outside our play sessions.  

A core aspect connected with such protocols (and linked power exchanges) for leathermen, and their ‘leathersex’ is the inclusion of leather, of course! Personally, it is an expression of masculinity. I find the concept of leather sensual and enjoy the imagery of leathermen. My sexual preference is to partake in leathersex that encompasses the essence of what Weal describes as “Structure, Strictness and Stability.” To me, it provides some basic protocols that offer guidance to leathermen participating in role play scenes that have been agreed beforehand, or which is presented in an initial exchange at a fetish sex bar/club.

Weal’s book does provide me with some useful insights into the early gay leather lifestyle, however subjective it might be presented in his publication. I feel the criticism surrounding his book is unjust because after all it is a personal description of his leather experience, and that shouldn't be diminished by others that don't agree with its veracity. Everyone’s engagement in the leather fetish scene is subjective and personal – that what makes it so special, so exhilarating, so enjoyable, so rewarding, because it is created by you and the others that you allow to join you in it. 

My Leather Identity

Well...where do I start? It appears more difficult than I thought to write my first blog post, particularly as the focus of this blog is to share my thoughts, reflections and fantasies as a young leatherman living in Belfast, Northern Ireland.

Being a leatherman, in a wonderful relationship with a fellow leatherman has enabled me to explore my leather fetish and lifestyle. The last few years has been filled with many leather attired sessions, nights out and visits to fetish clubs. Many years ago, before 'coming out' and in a hetrosexual relationship, I could not have imagined how much pleasure, and completeness, leather would bring to my life as a gay man. Don't get me wrong, I always was aware, even a young teenager, that I liked leather, but I never thought my passion for leather would grow into a fetish that would arouse such strong feelings in me while wearing it, and seeing other guys wearing it.

Finding the courage to accept that I was gay was very tough, given my catholic background and not knowing any gay men in my family or town (well, that were openly gay, anyway, when I reflect back on growing up). Telling my family, and my female partner, was very difficult, but there came a point in my life, in my mid 20s, that it felt right to tell the people I loved that I could not continue to hide my gay feelings. I had built up so many scenarios in my mind of rejection and fear I had convinced myself that I would be hated and jilted by those that I cared so much about. I couldn't have been more wrong. While my female partner was totally devastated by my revelation, as only expected, she gradually grow to accept it and eventually we did manage to rebuild a friendship. On the other hand, my family and friends were truly wonderful and very supportive; something I never thought possible, given the mental scenarios I had generated in the months prior to coming out. Everyone was so accepting of me being gay and I couldn't have asked for a better response.

After 'coming out', I felt more content within myself and was on a high, so to speak. Within a very short space of time, I met my first partner that was very kind and supportive, having gone through a similar experience himself when coming out years before. It was a new world for me, one that was exciting, so much fun, but also one that was challenging. Challenging in the sense of finding out more about myself as a gay man, and what the gay community entails, given that I had not encountered any of this before. After a few 'bumpy' starts, I managed to reconcile my 'old' life with my 'new', gay one. What I realised was that each and every one of us, whether gay or straight, has multiple identities - 'gay' is only one part of who I am. I have other identities: I am a son; I am a partner; I am part of a community of practice, which involves my profession and includes my work colleagues; I am part of other communities of interests, from my various circles of friends, that varies from straight mates that enjoy the 'craic' (as we say in Northern Ireland) over a pint, to my girl friends that are party animals, to other friends that are more 'culture vultures', to my leather brothers that share my leather passion. Like most of us nowadays, our identities are more plural and fluid, evolving and blending, to some extent, to form who each of us are. We shape our own identity, but our identities influence us, too - it's a cyclical process.

Appreciating this has allowed me to navigate through life in recent years and understand that I am part of many 'communities' that make up contemporary society and these shape who I am. Now more content with who I am, and returning to the focus of my blog, I can happily declare myself as a very proud leatherman, a member (#1093) of BLUF, and part of the global leather brotherhood. Reading more about the gay leather community and personally experiencing it has reaffirmed my passion for all things leather. My leather journey is only beginning!

There will be more reflections (and possibly fantasies) from my life in leather in future posts, but for now I will draw this post to a close. Hopefully this blog will become more interactive, with other leathermen commenting on posts, and following, or linking with my blog (if that's the correct terminology...as I'm a virgin blogger!), as there is nothing more exciting for me as a leatherman to meet, chat and share my experiences with other leathermen. If fellow leathermen bloggers have any tips or advice on enhancing my blog, please feel free to contact me - I would appreciate your help.

Leathercolt x